It was bound to happen. I got caught. Here is the story for those who may be interested.
We had been invited to a friend of ours’ birthday party on Saturday night and we had made all the necessary plans to be able to attend. My ‘tranny-sense’ had however kicked in and I just had a feeling that things would not work out as we had planned and hoped. True as nuts, my wife began to feel ill about two weeks before the event and then plans started to get changed. My nieces also came to visit their grandparents and that meant that the girls were visiting their grandparents to play with their cousins. A lot. My wife started to feel better in the days leading up to the weekend but was not yet fully recovered. Then the girls (collectively) decided it would be a good idea if they all slept at our house, together, on Saturday night. How could we refuse?
This was when my amazing wife came to the fore. Using impeccable logic she said that as we had already committed to going to the party, given that she wanted me to have an opportunity to ‘be me’ and that as she was not feeling fully recovered but was thus well enough to look after the girls but did not think she could take a late night out, she proposed that I go to the party alone and that the girls sleep over at our house. Given that my in-laws had invited us to lunch that day this could all work very well. Talk about finding win-win solutions.
After a late lunch I left my in-laws’ house and raced home. I noted that our tenants were out and that things were looking very good. I fed the pets and started to get ready. I was working as quickly as I could but soon noted that it was perilously close to the time that we had agreed that my wife would leave her parents’ house. I quickly messaged her to say I needed more time. She was anxious as our youngest daughter was quiet and wanted to get home but agreed to give me some more time.
I was just finishing up when I heard a car pull into the driveway. It was our tenants. They were home. What to do? I finished up and took a careful and sneaky look out the back door. They were indoors and the driveway was clear. I carefully locked the back door, grabbed my keys, handbag and high heel shoes (I had decided to drive in a pair of flats for safety sake) and headed out of the front door and around the side of the house. I carefully looked around the corner and saw that no one was in sight. I made a run for the car. Jumped in,threw my heels on to the floor in front of the passenger seat, started the engine and headed down the drive. So far so good.
As I came up to the gate I started looking for the remote control, which is on my house keys. I knew I had them because I had locked the front door, but I could not find them. They were nowhere to be seen. I looked at my feet and on the passenger seat. Then I saw our tenant coming down the drive. She was looking confused. Clearly she had noticed that I had not come out the back door to get to the car (our normal habit). I had done this to avoid being seen. But in avoiding being seen I also provoked her interest. She must have seen a blonde woman driving my car and was suspicious. Especially when the gate was not opened straight away. I tried rolling forward, to give myself more time and space, whilst I frantically searched for the keys. The tenant advanced. Slowly and cautiously. Clearly concerned that a blonde woman was stealing the car. I looked and looked. Eventually she was right up at the back of the car. I opened my window and shouted. ‘Don’t worry! It is me. I am off to a fancy dress party.’ She looked confused and mumbled something before ambling back up the driveway casting doubtful glances over her shoulder.
At this point I finally found my keys. They were on the floor in front of the passenger seat under my heels. I must have dropped them when I threw the shoes in. I retrieved them, opened the gate and drove off. I was deeply disturbed. She had seen me and must have known something was up, but how much had she seen? I drove for a few minutes before realising that I had been driving on autopilot and was actually not sure of where I was. I stopped the car took a few deep breaths and gave myself a stern talking to before letting my wife know that the coast was clear and that she could return with the children.
After sorting myself out I was able to calm myself down and I headed off to Trouble where the party was being held. The party was only scheduled to start at 8 but due to the issues with the children I had left at around 6-30 so I knew I would be early. I arrived at the venue and fortunately a few people were already there. We engaged in some nice conversation and I had a lovely time waiting for my friends to arrive.
Once everyone was there we had an amazing time. As usual Hilton and his team were wonderful hosts. Attentive and efficient with great service. There was a good turn out and we had electricity (unlike the last time I was at Trouble). A good number of transgender friends turned up for the party and it was good to reconnect with some old friends and also to meet some new people and especially to meet people in person who I had been in contact with on Facebook for sometime. Everyone looked fabulous and I think we all had a wonderful time.
Some local drag artists put on a show for Rebbeca (the birthday girl) and she seemed to enjoy the show. I was privileged to see my friend Bonnie perform for the first time and also to see some very good performances. My friend and I were particularly perplexed by one performer who we were unsure of. Was she a genetic female, a transexual or what? We looked as closely as we could and were unable to say for sure. She was small (petite even) but quite muscular (clearly a dancer or gymnast). There were no obvious visual clues. I was relatively certain she was a genetic female, but having a genetic female perform in a drag set seemed odd to me. Eventually I overheard her speaking after her performance and that settled it. She was a genetic female! Wow this gender business can be way too confusing at times!
After some dancing, a lot of conversation and meeting a whole bunch of wonderful people I decided to call it a night and headed home at about 1-30 am. Earlier, we had had a discussion about roadblocks. Being close to the festive season many people were concerned that the police would be out in force looking for drunk drivers (which they should do more often). I had had a cocktail when I arrived at Trouble (I needed something to calm my nerves). But I had only been drinking soft drinks and water thereafter, so I was not concerned about having to avoid any roadblocks. Clearly I had forgotten my earlier fears regarding the South African Police Services’ Tranny Squad.
I was on my way home when I saw a roadblock up ahead. At first I was fairly nonchalant as I knew I would not have a problem regarding alcohol consumption. Then it hit me. I was en femme! If they asked for my driver’s license I would have some explaining to do and that would be awkward. I considered doing a u-turn but decided that would just look suspicious so I decided to brazen it out.
The police pulled the two cars in front of me over. Clearly they were suspicious of something. I came up alongside the police officer who was a woman. This made me feel less nervous straight away. I rolled down my window and I was greeted respectfully as ‘Mama’. In South Africa this is a form of respect afforded to women who are shall we say ‘older’ (middle aged or older I suspect, but it is a bit of a grey area). On the one hand I was glad she had not misgendered me. On the other hand, ‘Mama’? Really? Do I look that old? I decided to look at the positive and take it as a win. She then asked me if I had been drinking and I replied in the negative. She then undertook the most scientifically reliable test ever: she stuck her head in the window and sniffed the air deeply. She must have smelt nothing because she waved me on my way without another word.
So clearly, provided the police officer has been blinded by my headlights at 1-30 am and is bored I pass! Yay me.
I arrived home without further incident.I cleaned up, packed away my stuff and finally fell exhausted into bed. A short few hours later I was awakened by a gaggle of girls having the time of their lives. What a fun, eventful and, yes stressful weekend outing. I probably need to rethink how I leave the house and make plans for dealing with nosy tenants. But it was fun and that is good enough for me. I would not have changed it for the world.
Sadly I have no photographs of the evening, but this is a photo of the top I wore. The shoes and skirt were different though. I went for this top because the theme of the party was Japanese related and I thought I could claim I was Madame Butterfly. Too big a stretch? You betcha!