Daniella's Ramblings

I was looking at my Facebook inbox recently and thought I should check that no messages I actually wanted to receive had been caught in one of the filters that Facebook has very kindly installed. As I was reading these messages a series of thoughts flowed into my head and I thought I would share these with you. I have reproduced the messages faithfully and my thoughts are well my unedited responses to the messages. I have not indicated any identities to protect the somewhat less than innocent…

‘U must know u have perfect body’
Thank you, but perhaps you need to go and look up the definition of perfection.

‘Hey wanna video chat naked’
Funnily enough, no.

‘Helo gorgeous’
You manage to spell ‘gorgeous’ correctly but not ‘hello’. How hard is it to spell ‘hello’ correctly?

‘Ho
Oi
Hi’
What is wrong? Cat got your keyboard? I simply cannot comprehend what you are saying or for that matter why you are laying it out like this. In fact, my cat types better than this when she undertakes one of her trans-keyboard expeditions. What is going on here?

‘Bb
Baby haw are you’
‘Haw’? Now what? Am I a donkey? Or are you just an ass? ‘Bb’? Is that like B flat in music notation? Or are you bulleting me at the first word? And ‘baby’? Seriously?

‘Hello sweety i will be pleased to have a chat with u. Frankly i am a secret admirer of yours.
THANKS AND HOPE TO HEAR FROMM U SOON’
Hello… Um, ok so you do know that I can see your name and face when you message right? So, not all that secret then… Also shouting? Is this the new romanticism? You clearly have a ‘Caps Lock’ key available to you, yet you seem unable to use upper case letters when they should be used. Why is that?

‘Hi
I love tr on the low
I’m a male model stripper I want to get a group session one day with a bunch of trannys’
Right so that falls rather nicely into the ‘too much information’ category.