No, no, no, don’t worry, this is not going to be that kind of a post…
A funny thing happened at work today. A male member of staff was in the men’s toilet and had just finished at the urinal when he heard the toilet flush in the cubicle. As he was washing his hands a woman walked out of the cubicle. There was a moment’s confusion when she realised she had gone into the ‘wrong’ facility in error.
She apologised, he said ‘not to worry it happens’ and all was well.
This prompted me to think about this situation. Given the paranoia regarding transgender people and toilet use in the USA and the general mood of many societies I wondered how this would have played out if the situation was slightly different. I am quite sure that if the roles had been reversed and a man had been using the women’s toilets, people would have been far less accommodating and his motives would have been scrutinised. Was he really in there by mistake? Was he trying to spy on the women? How could he make such an elementary mistake? And so on.
I can only wonder how a transwoman would have been received in either facility. The truth is I have no idea how that would have been received. I suspect that the vast majority would have accepted it either way.
In any event I was amused at the double standard that seems to be at play. A woman finding herself in the men’s toilet in error is a bit of a joke. A man in the women’s toilet would need to prove his innocence. Of course I may be wrong about this and it may just be me projecting my own fears onto the situation but I really do think my thoughts are broadly in the right place here.
How do we change this? Personally I am all in favour of gender neutral facilities. I am in favour of these for adults and children as I think children are in as much danger from potential threats of their own gender/sex as they are in danger from those of the ‘opposite’ gender/sex. There are certainly instances of men abducting and abusing boys and women abducting and abusing or facilitating the abuse of girls. Being of the same sex and or gender is certainly no defense. If anything having segregated facilities merely gives people (parents) a false sense of security. What do you think?
Daniella's Ramblings 
I think you are pretty much on the money here however the male by mistake in a female WC may only cause the adverse reaction in less than 50% of cases. I feel it all depends on the approach and attitude of the woman who witnesses it. But you are correct. A silly amusing mistake for one and proove my innonance for another. As for unisex toilets I have no issue with these as Bob but I DO as Michelle as I would fear for my safety from males. Not because I am being me but because they may spot I am trans and react badly. To date however my presentation is such that rarely does anyone give me a second look.
Interesting debate.
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I tend to use gender neutral facilities if they are available. I can see the arguments for them being a form of segregation, though. I would prefer a world in which all toilet facilities were single-occupancy and gender neutral, but that is pretty unlikely – that would be a lot of plumbing and rebuilding for cash-strapped businesses to deal with.
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There is much said already. I cannot really add to it. The restrooms are a matter of just letting us do our business. Here in the US, I see the bills against trans folks using the restroom in which they identify. The argument is on trans women, or men dressed as women preying on cisgender women. There isn’t much said about the reversed idea of a trans man, female dressed as a man doing the same to a male. I know it happens both ways towards kids. Which is wrong. I’m thinking people need to get the whole story not just bits and pieces. The locker room issue is totally different, and requires a different set of thinking and rules. The restroom, leave us trans folks alone and let us do our business and get out. That’s all we want to do.
Sorry if I got off topic.
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