Daniella's Ramblings

My amazing wife took me out for a full day and night of out and about fun on Friday. Friday was a normal work day, but Thursday was a public holiday so I took Friday off to have a nice long weekend. Our plans were to go out for lunch and do a spot of shopping and then to have a dinner out before heading to the grand opening of Trouble’s new premises.

The day started with us getting ready for lunch and some shopping at Sandton City. I decided to take advantage of the lovely early summer weather and go for something casual and light. Although it was a normal workday I suspected that a number of the people at the mall would be in a holiday mood and that anything too formal would not blend well. I also decided to do my nails with my planned outfit for the evening in mind. I therefore opted for black finger and toe nails. This colour had the added value of enhancing (I think) the black butterfly motif on my top.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words so here goes:

Having dressed we were confronted with the challenge of getting out of the house. Despite it being a normal work day the tenant living in the flat on our property was at home, cleaning his car. I had no desire of running into him so a plan was needed. I left the house by the front door and left the house via the driveway as we lack a pedestrian gate. I headed up the road. My wife left via the back door and got the car from the back. She would meet me on the road.

I was struck by how lovely and free it felt to be walking up the road in my neighbourhood. The sun was out. The temperature was just over 30 degrees celsius and I felt good. The only concern I had, was that it is unusual for women to walk around alone in South Africa and I suspected I stood out for this reason. But I was still having a lot of fun. I was about 500 metres up the road when my wife caught up with me. I jumped into the car and we were on our way.

We arrived at Sandton City and decided to get lunch straight away. We were somewhat surprised to realise that the pavement cafes we had intended to eat at were closed as they were renovating the square on which they were located, so we opted for a normal restaurant instead. On the way to the restaurant I caught sight of someone in a mirror. A few seconds later I realised that the person I saw in the reflection was in fact me. I did not recognise myself!

We had a lovely meal, I had mussels, my wife had halloumi and we both had lemon meringue for dessert. The waiters were excellent. I do not know (or care) whether they ‘clocked’ me or not, but they all called us ‘ladies’ (without being weird or creepy at all and gave us excellent service throughout the meal.

After lunch we did some shopping. My wife was looking for a belt for a dress we bought when in Paris earlier this year and I was looking for some new accessories. A girl can never have enough accessories. We looked everywhere for a belt but could not find anything we liked and I was unimpressed by the accessories on offer. Nonetheless we gave the shopping mall an extensive look over.

Whilst walking around we were given a few stares by a number of men. Some may have seen through me, but as I said above, I did not really care one way or another. One man did concern me a little though. He had a bit of a strange look about him. I cannot quite say what but his features were a bit different. Maybe he had ‘upside down eyes’ or something. Anyway I noticed him staring at us very intently (my wife did not notice) as he walked towards us from some way away. A few seconds later he was still looking right at us (me) as we got closer he suddenly veered towards us but then swung away at the last second. I am not  sure what he was doing or what his intentions were but I was a bit scared and intimidated. But I was not going to let it get in the way of my day out.

After not finding what we were looking for we decided to stop in at a mall we knew better (our local). I stopped off at an excellent accessories shop whilst my wife stopped off at the pharmacy. We had planned to meet up later. I was done shopping and my wife had not arrived yet so I went to find her. As luck would have it she saw me walking away from her as she arrived. We spent the next few minutes trying to find each other. In so doing I nearly bumped into the real estate agent who sold us our house as she was doing a promotion in the mall.

We then returned home. My wife was feeling a bit tired so she had a nap. After the nap we got ready for the evening’s festivities. We were planning on a dinner date at a restaurant followed by the launch party of Trouble, our local trans friendly gay club, where we expected to meet a few of our friends.

I had planned my outfit all week and was happy with the look I achieved, especially with my new accessories. I was lucky enough to have my wife assist me with my eye make up, which looked a lot better than I am able to achieve. Again, as a picture is worth a  thousand words…

We were a  little later than I had expected to be as my wife had napped a bit longer than I thought but I was not stressed as we were having such a good time. We arrived at a rather deserted Rosebank Mall and found one of our favourite restaurants. Despite it being the end of the month weekend the restaurant was rather empty. as luck would have it though, there was a person at a table just away from us who had briefly attended the same sports club as us. I do not think he recognised either of us. We had a lovely meal: pizzas for mains and I risked a dessert (honey and espresso panacotta) which was excellent.

We then arrived (a little later than expected) at Trouble. The place was pumping. There were a lot of people there, a good few trans folk as well as gays, lesbians and straight couples (Trouble does seem to attract a cosmopolitan crowd). The bar was very busy and was probably not coping with the crowd but this was not a huge problem for us. We met our friends including a new girl who was having her first night out, ever and some other people who I had not met before.

One of the guys had just started watching Caitlyn Jenner’s show and seemed to have only just realised about transgender issues. He seemed to think that I was ‘transitioning’ (whatever that means) and I explained to him that we are all on different journeys. He seemed to enjoy talking to us and it was nice to talk to him and hopefully explain a bit about us. He was surprised to see my wife with me and could not quite grasp the idea of a heterosexual couple, both in dresses and heels in a gay club. I tried to explain my point of view that sexual identity was irrelevant and did not define us but he seemed convinced that my wife had to be bisexual or lesbian.

The crowd to the left of us were getting rather raucous and one fellow seemed to take an interest in me. Sadly my ‘gaydar’ is decidedly rusty so I never know if people are just being friendly or if they are being ‘friendly’. He said that I reminded him of Helen Zille which I was none too pleased about, but perhaps I am too touchy. After a bit of banter he seemed to leave me alone.

All too soon it got late and we had to leave as my wife had to get up early for lectures the next morning. On leaving my raucous friend called out to me so I blew him a farewell kiss. All I can do is hope he was too drunk to remember or else I may have some explaining to do next time I see him. I had a lovely time and was struck at the progress I have made  physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically in the last year, which I will explore in my next post.