Amusing times at Amuse Cafe

Bingo! My eldest daughter went on a camp last weekend and this coincided with a drag show at Amuse Café (a local live music and social club that is also very trans friendly). My wife and I decided that it would be good to go to the show and enjoy an evening out. Now the only problem was what to do with our youngest daughter?

We found someone who could come and baby sit for us at short notice. This meant I would have to dress stealthily but I had a plan. Saturday arrived and I bathed and shaved. Then we had dinner together as a family (sans the eldest who was at the camp). After dinner my wife put our daughter to bed and I went to our (unoccupied) flat on the property to dress (I had stowed make up and clothes there earlier that day).

I had opted for a more casual look than I usually go for and had even made a concession to the arrival of winter. I had chosen a pair of faded skinny jeans, black knee-high stiletto boots, my trusty black nude shoulder top, my leopard print jacket and of course jewelry to finish it all off. I dressed and put on my make up. At this point I realised I had forgotten to bring a towel! No problem I just used my t-shirt. Then another disaster struck. The rubber stoppers that hold my earrings in had perished and were no longer working. I texted my wife and asked her to bring a spare set. I finished my preparations and even had some time to take a few selfies in the mirror. Sadly (as you can tell from the following pictures) my selfie photography leaves a lot to be desired.

20150530-0005pub 20150530-0006pub

The original plan had called for my wife and I to leave in different cars (I would leave as soon as I was ready, she would leave as soon as the little one was asleep and the baby sitter had arrived), but just as I was about to leave the flat, my wife arrived at the door. She said that the sitter had arrived and she therefore did not need to wait for our daughter to fall asleep.

We therefore left in one car which is always better. We stopped at a service station to draw some cash and my wife fixed my earrings for me with the new stoppers. Sadly at this point one of my false nails fell off and I couldn’t find it anywhere. Upon arriving at Amuse Café I realised another nail had fallen off, so I abandoned the attempt at elegance and just pulled them all off.

We looked for our friends. There were a few drag queens there (some of whom were spectacularly dressed), but none of our friends were there. So we got some drinks and sat down and chatted. One drag queen was very spectacularly dressed. She had a Marie Antoinette style wig, a white outfit (white boots, tights and dress) and a white veil that totally covered her face so I had no idea who was. Despite it being very late in Autumn the weather was lovely so we were sitting outside. After a short while we saw our friends arrive which was great. They knew everyone there and it turns out that the drag queen in the Marie Antoinette wig was Ally, who I had met last year. I forgave myself for not recognising her behind the veil.

We had a lovely time catching up and meeting some new girls. We then moved to one of the tables inside as our friends had not eaten yet and wanted to order some food. Gradually the café filled up. We had been to this venue once before to see a live gig, but that time I was in drab and the crowd was very different. This past Saturday was a very different crowd. There were a lot of drag queens, a few trans* folk, an admirer on a date with a trans* girl  and an eclectic mix of straight and gay people as well as some artists who were not performing that night. In other words, a nice cross-section of society with a rather heavy trans* bias. There was a group of young men there who I could not quite place. I did not think that it is the kind of place that young straight men would go to meet women but they did not seem to be gay either.

After a while I needed the toilet and made my way to the ladies’ room. Fortunately it was unoccupied and I used the facilities. I then decided to touch up my lipstick. Whilst I was doing this a women came in to use the toilet. She complimented me on my lipstick. This was very nice of her as it is always nice to have one’s femininity validated, but I did think that she was trying to engage me in conversation in order to figure me out. Or else she was just being nice. I thanked her in my best possible feminine voice, but she must have clocked me at that point.

The drag acts now started. Sadly the sound system was not well-balanced and we were unable to hear much if what the MC had to say. I am sure she was very witty but sadly I missed all her jokes. This problem extended to much of the music that the artists were performing to as well. I cannot say if it was the venue or the artists at fault but this detracted from the performances and made them feel a bit flat. Approximately half way through the act things started getting a bit more intense as the more experienced performers came on stage. The dancing was very good, they were athletic and very good performers but sadly the sound quality let them down. The outstanding act was a performance of ‘Let It Go’ by Ally.She did not perform in her Marie Antoinette wig, but switched to a more appropriate ‘Elsa’ outfit for her act. She was very expressive and was for me the outstanding performer on the night. We hung around for a bit after the show but felt the need to get some sleep after a long hard week, so we left at about 11.

On the way home my wife told me that she had overheard a funny exchange amongst the group of young men (the ones who I could not quite place). It seems they were a group of straight friends looking for something different to do that night. Apparently one of them fancied me and had expressed his ‘appreciation’ to one of his mates. They said but ‘s/he is one of them!’ He replied: ‘no, THAT one’. Pointing at me. His mate said ‘yes one of THEM’ he said ‘no way’ his mate said: ‘yes, one of THEM!’ So it seems I may have “passed”. Not that passing is a big deal for me (I have been clocked far too often to harbour any preconceptions), but it is nice to know that I all the effort I put into appearance (wardrobe, make up, accessories, mannerisms etc) is ‘working’ and this again does validate my attempts at femininity.

But I am not sure how I feel about this. It is a funny story, but I do not like the idea of ‘fooling’ someone or embarrassing them. It also feels a bit strange to be objectified in this way. It is one thing to be appreciated by an admirer (still not exactly sure where I stand on this) but another to be attractive to a straight male. I suppose I cannot be responsible for how someone reacts to me, I can only be responsible for how I act. Had the young man approached me I would have been sure to tell him what he was dealing with (and that I am spoken for) and I suppose that is all I can do. Ironically, I don’t think I am the most ‘passable’ of our group. I think there are other girls who do a better job than me and I can only wonder what this fellow thought of them? Anyway, we had another lovely evening out and enjoyed ourselves immensely.


Add yours →

  1. Nice one. It is how others really see us not necessarily how we see ourselves. We all can under-estimate how well we may really pass. When I see Michelle in the mirror I see through to what lies beneath simply becuase I actually know and that makes it a little harder for me to be satisfied that I may have got it right. Those whom Michelle encounters though do not have that prior knowledge so will see what their eyes tell them.

    Being approached by an admirer is one thing. I have encountered and dealt with that one. A straight male thinking we are a cis woman might be difficult.

    Not alot wrong with your selfie.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like a great night was had, you look fab by the way! X

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Daniella's Ramblings

Transgender People. Women. Society. Reviews and Much More

Tau Tessera Tau

Transcend Sisterhood

T h e . M o m . R e n o v a t i o n

Decluttering, organizing and designing up a storm. Sharing the take-away.

Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue

Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue is a lesfic author at Sign-up for her newsletter at

%d bloggers like this: