Star Wars more unreal than necessary?

Yes, yes, I know Star Wars is science fiction, but I think it needs to be stated that the emphasis of all six movies to date is heavily on the fiction and fairly light on the science. Many commentators with far greater claims to scientific credibility have commented on the scientific problems created in the Star Wars galaxy, so I will confine my thoughts to the more ‘human’ areas that I know something about.

Food and drink

You seldom see people eating in Star Wars (apart from the odd bar scene and Jabba). What, do Jedi knights not get hungry? Yoda only seems to get peckish when he is in exile. There is thus no litter in the Star Wars reality. Where are the polystyrene coffee cups discarded by scrambling X wing fighter pilots? Why is there never a paper towel, wafting in the breeze, blurring someone’s view in the pod race? Where are the coffee cup stains on the Imperial Star Destroyers bridge?

Clothing and personal hygiene

Many characters seldom change their clothes (yes Han, I am looking at you) and space ships seem to lack ablution facilities. At the very least they are very poorly signposted. This is worrying. Hyper space must play havoc with the bowel and not having facilities near at hand could get messy. Worse, how does the Star Wars transvestite agonise over which toilet to use if there is in fact no toilet to use? Discrimination I say! On a related note how does Leia keep her make up so impeccable when there is clearly no where for her to powder her nose?

Parking

I am yet to see a disabled parking area in any of the hangars or landing pads used by any of the major protagonists. You would think Yoda at the very least would have fought hard for the rights of elderly and disabled folk. (Not trying to be ageist or discriminatory, but I reckon anyone who is 800 years old, uses a stick and is 4′ tall has got to be considered elderly and disabled). The young folk (Annakin!) park very badly indeed. In anything approximating a real world, they would have had a traffic warden clamping their hyper drives and giving them a ticket.

Motivational posters

Any organisation the size of the Galactic Empire must have an internal communications and marketing department. Yet the manager was clearly useless. You never see any pictures of the Emperor with a toll free number where suggestions and complaints could be left. Where is the mission and vision statement for the Galactic Empire? Even Sauron in Lord of the Rings had the good sense to inscribe his mission and vision (one ring to bind them, one ring to rule them etc). But the Emperor, no! He seriously needs to work on communicating more effectively with all his stakeholders. Back to CEO school for you Mr Emperor.

Health and safety

On a related note, the Death Star has an appalling approach to health and safety. Firstly they allow all sorts of people onto a building site, with hardly a hard hat (Darth’s helmet excluded) in sight. Then when visitors are received, they are not given a safety briefing, nor are they given a visitors’ badge. I find this very worrying. To make matters worse, where are the posters saying: ‘100 planetary destruction free days, your safety is important to us’? How do people know anything of what is going on? Clearly the Empire needed some consultants to come in and fix things up for them.

These oversights make it very difficult for me to take Star Wars seriously. I hope episode seven clears these oversights up. Please feel free to add the areas of concern to you in the comments below.

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5 Comments

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  1. LOL! Your mind may just wander more than mine! 😉
    I always wondered why all the space ships appear “right side up” when there is no right (or wrong) side or no up and down in space? Scenes always appear as if all the space crafts are floating on some invisible pool of water.
    And when and where do they ever fuel up those vessels?? I suppose they’re nuclear…
    -ValS

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Also, how is it possible that a Jedi can destroy a “Death Star” by pickling a single, unguided, low yield munition DIRECTLY into a wide open reactor slightly smaller than Baltimore, but you can take one down with a head butt?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Like I said… Don’t get me started on the ‘physics’ or lack thereof…

      Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t get it! It I’m all about the Sci-Fi. Sagan, Feynman, Eddington, are GIANTS to me. I really can let the science slide, it is fiction. But the plot holes? Sorry, did I say plot holes? More like black holes! 🙂 I am more of a Trekkie! I have no regrets! 🙂 The first job I ever had was related to space. It is were we’re meant to live. If we ever get “advanced” and brainiac and all that stuff! 🙂 Ah well, new Star Trek this coming June. YAY! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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