Christmas shopping, fashion disasters and getting clocked

Star date December 2014

My wife and I went Christmas shopping at the busiest mall in Johannesburg on what was possibly the busiest shopping day of the year. Despite the weather being wet and cool I opted for a denim mini, a floral sleeveless shirt and gladiator ‘lite’ sandals as I knew I would get warm under my wig. We also decided to play with some floral hair clips (one on each side). Big mistake! I looked like a badly done up Princess Leia. Sadly I only noticed this the next day when I reviewed the photographs we took. Oh well live and learn.

Princess Leia channeling the force for all she is worth:

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I decided to drive. Oh my word it took for ever to find parking the place was so busy. We eventually found a spot and started our shopping expedition. On the way to the toy shop we passed a kids play area. A rather sweet looking grandfather was there with his grandchildren (toddlers). He saw me and must have clocked me straight away (maybe sleeveless is not ideal when you have a bad case of t-shirt tan). Anyway he didn’t say anything, but he did push the kids as far away from me as possible. Whilst I do understand his desire (need) to protect his grandchildren I was a bit upset. I also think he was a bit silly. I very much doubt that paedophiles would risk drawing attention to themselves by dressing in drag. They would surely be more subtle than that? I put that behind me and we went to the toy shop. It was chock a block with kids and parents and I glided around as best I could. No one said or did anything obvious but I am not sure that I was not clocked.

We then went to the other side of the mall. My wife needed to complete a set of gifts at the stationery shop and we needed gift tags. It was so very busy and we were getting hungry and tired so I offered to get the tags. I went to the shop, picked up the tags and stood in the queue. A couple in front of me looked right at me but I saw nothing in their faces. I got to the cashier and presented the tags. He wring them up. Most shoppers complain that cashiers are surly, unfriendly and nit very talkative. I would have loved a strong silent type. Instead I got a chatty chappy. He was asking me all sorts of things. I (hopefully) smiled sweetly and made my voice as soft as possible, whist still being audible and spoke to him as much as I dared. He didn’t react negatively, but I think he knew.

We then went off for lunch at another less busy shopping center where we had some divine sandwiches. We were going to go to the grocer nearby to pick up Christmas eats but after finishing lunch we went to the grocer, only to find that they had closed early as it was a public holiday. That was a frustrating end to an otherwise pleasurable day (grandfathers excepted).

One Comment

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  1. Very good of you to go out en femme in such a busy place during such a busy time. Don’t worry about anyone’s concerns; it mattered only to you and your wife if you dressed up. To quote Dr. Seuss, “Those who mind won’t matter, and those who matter won’t mind.”

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