Star date October 2014
So the exciting news of the weekend is that I went on my first ‘vanilla’ outing dressed on Saturday.
My wife and I went to a local mall for lunch and an opportunity to browse the stores.
We hived the kids off to their grandparents for the day. I got ready and we left home in the full glare of day. I went for a casual look (well what passes for casual with me anyway). I wore a denim mini, a white ‘peasant blouse’ with bead work, sandals that could be described as ‘entry level’ gladiator sandals (they have some straps, but only 2 so not full on) a brown leather handbag and jewelry (ear rings, rings and bangles). As the mall has both inside and outside sections I wore sunglasses in an effort to reduce my chances of being recognised.
Some pics taken just before leaving for the mall:
All went well until we saw family friends out biking at the bottom of the road. My wife was driving and they know her car well. We sped past without waving!
We arrived at the mall and walked around a bit. I wanted to show my wife some fab party/club dresses I had seen in the Guess store earlier in the week on a work related trip to the mall and we also needed to select a restaurant to eat that I would feel comfortable at… Nothing too quiet but also somewhere relatively private.
On the way to the Guess store my wife spotted our daughter’s new teacher for next year who we had just met with on Friday. She told me to turn and move fast, so I did…
We went to the Guess store looked around and then started looking for a restaurant. We settled on one and then BANG we see the teacher there as well, so we reassess and choose a different restaurant.
I had been concerned that I would stick out like a sore thumb and that shortly a group of enraged shoppers with pitch forks would gather shouting ‘KILL THE TRANNY!” so I was (subtly) observing people’s reactions. I hardly noticed anyone noticing me. One or two people looked directly at me but I don’t think they clocked me at all. Most people are just too wrapped up in themselves to notice you… On the way to the restaurant one guy was really staring at me but I honestly think he was just ‘perving’ my legs… He didn’t seem to be hostile or anything. My wife confirmed this view… So on the one hand I was relieved on the other I felt objectified but then again I WAS wearing a mini so I can’t be too precious… Or can I?
Anyway we walk in to the restaurant and guess what? We walk past the educational/child psychologist we consulted in order to get my my daughter into her current school (long story) sitting enjoying lunch with her husband. I don’t know if she recognised us but we hurried past and got a nice booth at the back.
I avoided talking to the waitress (my wife did all the ordering) which may have seemed odd, but it preserved my (illusionary?) sense of not being clocked.
Funny thing happened when the waitress brought our soft drinks in cans… As a male I really dislike it when waiters/waitresses open the can for me. I just feel it is odd. Dressed en femme I really wanted her top open the can for me as I was wearing false nails and didn’t want to damage them… Guess what she left both cans for us to open, grrr.
We enjoyed our lunch and left.
We walked around the mall.
We saw a bunch of swimming costumes on display and my wife wanted to take a closer look. Neither one of us noticed the promoter until she stood up and said ‘hello ladies’. WOW this made my day!
The promoter spoke to my wife a bit and then we went into some clothing stores.
It was so much ‘easier’ being in the women’s section en femme! I felt more at ease and less ‘sticky outy’. We looked at costume jewellery, shoes, clothes, handbags hats etc. It was so much fun!!!
After a while we left to go home allow me to go back to drab and we then fetched the girls from the grand parents.
What a great day. It was so liberating being out and about. This was the first time I had been out and about in a specifically non-trans friendly (ie ‘normal’) environment. I was very anxious until about half way through lunch and even after that I tried to speak as little as possible to avoid ‘outing’ myself, but I still had a blast. It was if anything more fun than being at a trans-friendly night club. The environment was more ‘normal’ and relaxed.
My previous trip to a mall had been late at night and was very short. This time we were there on a Saturday afternoon, the place was BUSY and we were there for about 2 to 3 hours…
I think I blended with the environment… I was very aware of my mannerisms and whilst I walked a bit too fast some of the time I think I was ok…
The ‘hello ladies’ commented really made my day!
I am so lucky to have a supportive, understanding and participatory wife… I realise that this is rare and I don’t mean to brag… Just acknowledging how lucky I am.
Next steps? Actually trying on some clothes? Working on my voice? Visiting a make up store (Mac)? We will see…
I think a trip to the theatre may be next on the list.